Putting little subtitles in would have the same effect as putting the regular scene break symbol in.
The battle in chapter 14 is unique in the sense that there are a lot of ships, and everything happens in minutes, so the subscenes are quite short for the most part. I think that sort of compounds the problem.
I'm sorry Ryk, but the battle scenes were just too confusing. There has to be a way to allow the reader to realize a change of ships and personnel has occurred. The short subscenes made things more confusing when the switch occurs between different Alliance ships attacking different Jung ships. I understand not wanting to use the old standby three stars, but good grief there had to be something that could have been done.
I like the jumping between different parts of the battle, and for the most part it is clear when that happens.
What is a problem is that as more and more ships are accumulated in the Alliance it becomes harder an harder to pick out where exactly the POV has shifted to. And who exactly we are reading about. the fact that Poc and Nash and Rossele are now captains of substantial ships that matter and can attack on they're own really added to the fog of war. but as we get used to the idea, it will become easier to deal with.
Also I for one was impressed with the fact that ships ran out of Missiles. That really carried home for me just how big the Jung fleet was.
I must be in the minority around here since I had no trouble following the battle scenes at all. The only issue I noticed was when Nash was incorrectly stated to be the captain of the Kent rather than the Tanna. But, I think that was a proof reading error rather than an issue with the structure of the scenes.
lol I have to find that!!!
Ryk,
Thanks for a great Christmas present!
The story was excellent.
I think your sub scene breaks are terrific. It is almost as if you are writing this as a screen play.
For those of you who are having trouble picking up on the shifts in points of view you might want to
read some of To Clancy's early works. He does it very well.
I look forward to the next part of the story.
