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I do and I don't like the parallels who've created by putting a Nash, Scott and a Russian ensign, starting off together on a new ship. Yes it's a nice mirror of the beginning of the series but is also a bit to convenient. I would have liked to see perhaps one of the group being from Tanna, or Core Worlds. I personal like they idea they were all outcast or social isolated in (the Academy) Scott and Nash because of their Famous relatives, "Tannan" or "Core Worlder" as they were one of the first to volunteer form other members of the alliance in the core, and are mistrusted by other cadets. and they came together and bonded in their isolation. Also to have Nash and Scott to the same roles as there namesake seems to similar to the original, have them wanting those roles but not getting adds a twist although I can see the story points you can have by putting Scott in the Same seat his cousin did and him trying to out do him. I'm hoping you continue writing, this story however, I don't want to see the some rise up the ranks Nathan Experience. would be more interesting to follow Caiden through his career as a Junior Officer (A bit like in a series JAG in Space by Jack Campbell)

I'm guessing as they have built a whole new ship that this is based at least 3-5 years after the ending of episode one. by then surely there wouldn't be anyone still wearing an EDF Uniform. Rather Commander Wesley Winslow would be in an Alliance uniform.

I like you ideas for a smaller class of ship, but of the same design as the Aurora, I would say it's a Frigate. and I like the Name the Astra. Be interesting to see the kind of punch it has, with the better understand of the Power requirements and better fabrication techniques now employed by the alliance.

However I like the tone and how you have written this. I would like to read more.

Yeah, there's always quibbles, but it sounds promising. Please write more!

@palmer The parallels between the opening here and the beginning of the present series were deliberate as a homage, but the eventual outcome I have envisioned is different. And while none of the characters I introduced here were from Tanna or one of the other Core Worlds, I can say that that isn't the case for the rest of the Astra's crew. I envisioned her as having a mixed crew with personnel from every Alliance member. But, on the other hand, what I've posted here can also be considered a rough draft and open to changes.

The Astra is an entirely new starship and she was constructed at the shipyard captured from the Jung in the Tau Ceti system, though that isn't mentioned here. The idea of using the design of the Aurora as a starting point was so that the designers wouldn't have to start from scratch and to shortcut the production process, allowing the Alliance to put them into series production more quickly. With the most likely more advanced production capabilities of the captured shipyard and Takaran fabrication technoloy, I envisioned the Alliance being able to construct and launch an Astra-class ship in about a year to eighteen months.

I see the Astra as more of a light cruiser than a frigate. All evidence we've seen in the series indicates that frigates are rather easily handled (the last episode alone has the Super Falcon destroying two of them in single passes) and the Astra is tougher than that. I also see her having her own aerospace wing too. Albeit smaller than the Aurora's, but she'll have a flight deck capable of launching and recovering fighters.

@ericnay I agree that a writer can't please everyone and thank you for taking the time to read and respond to the scene here. I do plan on writing more.

I like it. There is room for improvement, but fairly solid as a pilot piece.

@four-islands Room for improvement where exactly?

@darkscribe Just so you know, I did like your story.

1) Scott, stopped to look around a square room and missed a door by the stage. Just like everyone else in a book ever.
2) He then fast walked past his friends, who as a group of three should have effectively block his way down the aisle between rows of seat. (Most auditoriums I've ever been too. leave room for 2.5 people side by side.)
3) Cadien "Valiant fighter" Scott. I only checked this because of Nathan's "Gift From God"
4) Jessica Nash, not only hard to kill, but highest kill count of all Nash's ever. (kills from Aurora Tactical station included / otherwise Nash Bridges won... scary)
5) Nash isn't my girlfriend... Either of them... Damn it I'd take Captain Nash.
6) Murmuring in an military auditorium is allowed. During orientation, day one, that shit will not stand.
7) Commander leave's early because he is too busy commanding an empty ship... and where is the Captain? do we not need one because they will not be there long?
8) Completely new class of ship, built around the new tech as apposed to altered after... but still based on the Improved Explorer class, just smaller.
9) Scott followed his fiends into the room just like his cousin he needs to be shown how to get places... then gets assigned to the pilot/navigation of the ship he cannot find his way around...
10) "The Astra is built to fight people." "We are at war, people." We know, we signed up for this, We just spent the last 2 years dealing with this, the last year of which was in Alliance training camps.
11) In no more than another ten minutes, the calling of assignments had ended and everyone was headed to the exits. Scott smiled, time to live up to his name.
12) Active duty veterans such as himself. So he is of an age with Nathan at least, to have served against the Jung. and somehow his involvement in duty where the Alliance repeatedly surprise attacked the Jung and counter attacked the Jung advancements at times and places of they're will, must have really been crushing... Unless he was an Eagle pilot or something... but then he would be of rank and he would probably not have needed to go to Orientation. Also he would have been mentioned as being an Eagle pilot earlier as Scott was checking for Family, it would have been an easy step to check the rank and file for his cousin.

I'm really just being an Ass mentioning all of these, I really did like it, but like all Pilot piece's it has room for improvement.

Keep it up!

Take a look at my bit of story writing -> Comments & Suggestions / Fan Fiction Only

I've revised the scene. Note: this scene isn't the opening scene of my story. It actually happens early in the story, but it isn't the beginning.

Disclaimer: I do not own, nor do I profit from, the Frontiers Saga or the characters therein. They are the intellectual property of Ryk Brown and are simply used in the following scene for my own entertainment. No copyright infringement intended.

The main briefing room hummed with the subdued noise of idle conversation when Caiden entered through the portside entrance, its occupants conversed quietly and awaited the beginning of the orientation session. Purposefully a step behind Nikolas, Cecilia, and Cassidy, he paused to loiter near the entrance in order to examine the room in its entirety before proceeding further however. Noticeably more spacious than the command briefing room located elsewhere on the command deck, the room by his estimate could have easily accommodated more than a third of the Astra’s two hundred and twelve crew in its several tiers of auditorium seating that lined three of its bulkhead walls, though the room was nowhere near capacity at the moment. Stepped walkways on either side descended toward the front of the room, separating the seating into three distinct sections before a raised stage area with a podium at its center. Behind the podium, a single row of seats lined the bulkhead beneath an inset wallscreen that presently displayed the Astra’s mission patch as its standby wallpaper.

His examination of the room complete, Caiden turned his attention to its occupants. Seated in small bunches or milling around the room, he could tell that the men and women present were a blend of active duty veterans such as himself and junior officers that had recently completed their basic training from their mannerisms. The older, more experienced veterans were more relaxed, more at ease, having been through similar mandatory orientation sessions that were required on every new posting while the newly-minted junior officers were looking around excitedly in anticipation, talking animatedly with their peers. He knew that their enthusiasm would diminish with time and exposure to the realities of their present war with the Jung Empire, and that that experience would tarnish them as it had tarnished him.

He could vividly remember his own initial encounter with the Jung the day of their invasion. He had been an ensign with the Earth Defense Forces, strapped into the cockpit of an Eagle in the skies above the North American Union city of Colorado Springs, and it had been an encounter in which he had witnessed the complete destruction of his squadron and their base before having to eject in order to avoid his own demise.

Pushing the memory aside, not wanting to dwell on that day or the subsequent events that had followed it, he returned his attention to his companions and resumed walking in order to catch them when he noticed they were heading to a section of unoccupied seats.

“Come on,” he said as he reached them. “Let’s take a seat. Orientation should start soon.”

Without checking to see whether the others were with him, he proceeded to shoulder through them and marched ahead in the direction of the seats. He moved along the row toward its middle before settling into one of the many unoccupied seats. He could see the others seat themselves beside him with Cassidy and Cecilia assuming the seats between him and Nikola, though he could see Cecilia direct a look of concern in his direction out of the corner of his eye.

"Something wrong?” she asked in a whisper, leaning in close so that no one would hear their exchange.

Before he could answer her, a junior officer near the stage snapped suddenly to attention and directed his eyes directly ahead.

“Attention on deck!” he bellowed, instantly ending every conversation in the room and replacing it with the sound of boots on deck plates as the assembled men and women snapped to attention in response to the order. Everyone that had been seated rose in unison, Caiden and his friends included, and went rigid in their posture, their eyes directed resolutely ahead of them while a man entered the room at the lead of a small knot of officers. Caiden had never seen the man before, but he suspected from the commander’s insignia on his collar that he most likely the Astra’s executive officer and second in command, Commander Wesley Winslow.

Clad in the standard issue uniform of the Alliance, the man strode to the podium with a purposeful step and without pause, laying the datapad he carried with him on it. The man had a trim, muscular build to his lithe, lean stature and he scanned the assembled occupants of the room with unreadable obsidian eyes.

“At ease,” he said a moment later, his voice easily heard everywhere in the room. “Be seated.”

He waited while everyone that had been seated resumed their seats and those that had been standing located seats themselves, continuing to observe them with those unreadable eyes. Eventually, the assembled men and women had settled and he continued.

“I am Commander Wesley Winslow and I am your new executive officer,” he said without preamble to those in attendance. “I would like to welcome each of you to the Astra, the lead ship in a new class of deep space starships intended to include the most advanced technology the Alliance has at its disposal from the keel out instead of having it added in later as was the case with both of our Explorer-class ships, the Aurora and the Celestia.”

Winslow paused to extend his hand and tap an unseen control on the podium before him. The lighting in the briefing room instantly dimmed and a three dimensional hologram sprang into existence between him and his audience. It spun slowly on its vertical axis and Caiden instantly recognized it as a schematic of the Astra.

“As you undoubtedly noticed while boarding, the Astra is externally identical to both the Aurora and Celestia except that we are a third smaller than either of those ships in overall size,” Winslow resumed. “This is because the Astra class is based on the Explorer class, its designers choosing to begin with a proven design as a template and updating it rather than beginning from scratch in a process that would have most likely taken several years at least when the Alliance needs ships now.”

Winslow paused a second time to look around the room. “That, however, is where the similarities end. While both the Aurora and Celestia were both originally intended as ships of exploration and diplomacy, the Astra has been intended from her conception as a ship of war, specifically as a medium combatant meant to support the Aurora and Celestia in action alongside the gunboats currently being built on Tanna or to act independently on missions when the Aurora and Celestia are unavailable or unnecessary.”

The hologram vanished with the touch of the same unseen control and the lighting returned to its normal level as Winslow stepped out from behind the podium, clasping his hands behind him. “The Astra is meant to fight, people. Either in concert with other ships or on her own and that is exactly what the Captain and I expect her to do once we’ve completed our space trails here in the Tau Ceti system. But, before that can happen, we need to prepare, we need to train. Normally, we would have ample time to accomplish that properly.”

He looked at everyone levelly in a slow scan of the room. “But, we are at war, people. In war, time is a resource that is constantly in short supply and both Captain Adams and I have no interest in wasting that resource. We may have cleared a buffer zone of more than twenty light-years around our base of operations on Earth, but the Jung continue to be a threat to our existence. Therefore, the Captain has informed Alliance Command that the Astra will be ready for deployment in no more than a month from today.”

“We will meet that deadline,” he declared and paused to ensure that everyone had heard him. He nodded once, satisfied that everyone had understood him. “I will now hand you over to Lieutenant Commander Dashner to receive your section assignments. Once you have received your section assignments and been dismissed, you will immediately report to your section supervisor to begin your section orientation.”

Without another word, Winslow turned on his heel, retrieved his datapad from the podium, and stepped to the side while Lieutenant Commander Dashner stepped to the podium in his place. Dashner placed his own datapad on the podium, referencing it occasionally as he began to announce section assignments in methodical, alphabetical order. While his companions looked around the room each time a name was called, Caiden sat silently with Nikola, Cecilia, and Cassidy and patiently awaited the call of his own name.

It was almost immediately that one of their name was called, however.

“Andreyev, Nikola!”

“Here, sir!” Nikola responded from his seat on the other side of Cecilia and Cassidy, his accent moderately thick but his words understandable.

“Engineering,” Dashner responded. “Report to Lieutenant Commander Zahn.”

The calling of names and assignments resumed as Nikola sat back in his seat in excitement, looking decidedly pleased with having received the assignment he had expected. Caiden smiled at his friend’s excitement and almost laughed quietly, but he wasn’t able to before he heard the name of another one of his friend’s being called.

“Evans, Cecilia!”

“Here, sir,” Cecilia answered from beside him.

“Helm and Navigation,” Dashner said. “Report to Captain Adams.”

Cecilia sat back with a wide smile on her lips as Dashner resumed the calling of names, looking as pleased as Nikola about her assignment, and he couldn’t help but return the smile while listening to the names being called, knowing that Cassidy would be the next one of them called as their names proceeded his alphabetically.

“Nash, Cassidy!” Dashner announced as though cued by Caiden’s thoughts.

“Yes, sir!” Cassidy answered. Caiden noticed a couple of glances in their direction at Cassidy’s surname, but Cassidy betrayed no hint that she had noticed. He envied that about her. Her ability to look oblivious to the attention of other people. The recognition of their family names was something neither he nor Cassidy had much control over, at least not since their older cousins had returned in the Aurora from its unexpected detour to the Pentaurus Cluster and liberated the Earth from the hands of Jung occupation. Since that day, every one of the Aurora’s senior officers, particularly those born on Earth, had become a household name and had achieved monumental celebrity status in the eyes of the public, meaning he and Cassidy had to endure the admiration of the masses merely because they were related to two of those officers.

“Special Operations and Intelligence,” Dashner called. “Report to Lieutenant Calhoun.”

Cassidy sat back in her seat excitedly, almost bouncing and oblivious to the looks she had received. Caiden tried not to roll his eyes, knowing that a posting to the Astra’s SpecOps detachment had been the assignment that she had wanted. He had had no doubt that she would receive it. Now, he settled back into his seat as the calling of names continued, knowing that only his name reminded out of the four of them and dreading the moment when it would be called.

“Scott, Caiden!”

And there it was. “Here, sir,” he said instinctively in response.

He noticed the glances several people sent in his direction when he answered to his name, more than had looked in their direction when Cassidy’s name had been called, but he tried to betray no hint that he had seen them. He wasn’t as successful as Cassidy had been.

“Helm and Navigation,” Dashner said. “Report to Captain Adams.”

Dashner continued the calling of the rest of the names from his datapad until he had eventually called each of them, collected his datapad, and stepped aside to allow Winslow to return to the podium, returning his datapad to its previous position. He scanned the room slowly once more and Caiden suspected that his eyes loitered on him longer than the others.

“The Captain and I are aware that we are requiring a lot of you in the coming month,” Winslow stated, his tone less formal and more conversational than it had been earlier. “We realize that it will be difficult. We have every confidence that you will not only meet our expectations, but you will exceed them. We believe that you are the best that each Alliance world has to offer and we have no doubt that you will make us proud to have you here with us on the Astra.”

There was a silent pause as Winslow eyed them from behind the podium. Seemingly satisfied that ample time had passed for his audience to realize the sincerity behind his words, he nodded once and resumed speaking. When he continued, his more formal tone had returned. “From now until further notice, standing duty hours will be from oh-eight hundred hours until twenty-two hundred hours while we remain docked here in Tau Ceti unless otherwise communicated. You will now report immediately to the department heads in your sections to begin your training. Dismissed.”

“Attention on deck,” the junior officer from earlier bellowed a second time, causing everyone seated around the room to rise and snap to attention. Winslow collected his datapad from the podium and headed out of the room with Dashner directly behind him, leaving Caiden and the rest of his new crewmates to quietly disperse behind them in the direction of their appointed sections.

I would change the opening line as it is are a bit over-long and clunky. Make your first line shorter, and you speed the story up. see below:

##The main briefing room hummed with the subdued noise of idle conversation. Orientation was due to begin shortly, and Caiden as he entered through the portside entrance paused in order to examine the room before proceeding further. His friends Nikolas, Cecilia, and Cassidy continued on into the auditorium, and as they moved off more of the room became visible to him.##

I like how you took into account what I said about the aisle's and having to shoulder past people, but I didn't like it in practice. It sets a tone for the Character of Caiden. One where he will shoulder into his friends when he is stressed. I think it is a bit early to have him do this as before we know the guy, we think he is a D*nk.

##“Come on,” he said as he reached them. “Let’s take a seat. Orientation should start soon.”
Without checking to see whether the others were with him, he proceeded to shuffle into the nearest row of seats aiming for the middle. As he sat, he was relieved to see Cassidy take the seat beside him, with Cecilia assuming the seats between her and Nikola. He noticed the look of concern Cecilia directed at him out of the corner of his eye.##

I felt more could be done with the end of the piece also, it felt a little unnatural. I always try to think, If I was there what would I do, as part of the crowd. I would be like, "A Scott and a Nash? Well this ships f*ck*d."

##Winslow collected his datapad from the podium and headed out of the room with Dashner directly behind him. Orientation over Caiden and the rest of his new crewmates rose from they're seats, and the volume of talk in the room rose with them. Several times he heard the names Nash and Scott, from every direction. Thankfully, he had an excuse not to stay here, and saying a quick goodluck and good bye he and his friends headed for their appointed sections.##

Commander Winslow felt more real. I like him.

The back story element was a nice touch. Eagle pilot is my guess, as the gunner would probably take tactical.

I think it might be a good time to say that his back story might also include Eli Scott. Maybe Eli was responsible for Caiden being released from Jung captivity. That would mean other former EDF people might not like him for his famous Cousin alone but also his infamous one. And having been captured by the Jung, we might find out that he has been harboring some nanites that might add an extra facet to his story for when the screening begins.

Dude, keep it up!

@four-islands Thank you for your suggestions. I may see whether I can use one of them, but otherwise I'm happy with the story as it is.

As far as I'm aware, Eagles only have one occupant, the pilot. They don't have a "gunner".

And my backstory for Caiden doesn't include Eli at all. The way I see it Caiden would have been more important to Nathan than Eli. Neither was Caiden in Jung captivity at all. Caiden ejected and eluded capture much like the Intrepid's crew did.

I guess it would make since for him not to appear so far in the current story, as a fighter pilot/officer he would not be suited to immediately take a position on a larger vessel, needing additional training. And with Corinari pilots flying they're Falcons and shuttles, Eagle pilots would need they're own fighter first.

With the Eagle facilities back up and running in EP 15 (as per suggestions in EP14) It would be likely that someone like Caiden would be assigned there, to a project closer to his training. As for one/two seats of the Eagle... I don't remember it being definitive about just one pilot, but I don't remember there specifically being two. Lets go with one... And I guess there are worse reasons to re-read 14 Ep's again.

It might be helpful to point out that the Alliance charter highlights that members would protect they're fellow members, which does not preclude each member of the alliance having dis-separate fleets. It actually would make sense for that to happen... you know when they can afford to... as in not right now, but maybe with a 20ly bubble, could we expect a reestablished EDF command structure, possibly demanding more say in the use of its assets, namely the Aurora and the Celestia. Just as Tanna could demand the Attack ships and Tau Ceti the Frigates. That would be a nice balancing act. All the Jung would need to win a war against the Alliance is to take the pressure off, and the Allinace have done that for them.

Uh, Caiden wouldn't appear at all in the series since he is a character from a fan fiction and has no canonical ties to the series. He is merely a creation of my imagination and has no connection to the story being written by @rykbrown.

Were he a canonical character and were he to appear in any capacity in the series in general, I could see Caiden being assigned to the Super Eagle program either as a test pilot (probably along side Josh since he served as the test pilot of the Super Falcon) or as an assistant pilot instructor or something helping to train new recruits to operate the Super Eagle. My background for Caiden has him joining the EDF at nineteen, attending the North American Fleet Academy before being assigned to one of the Eagle squadrons at a planet-side base outside of Colorado Springs. He was in the EDF for about a year before the Jung conquered the Earth, he eluded capture like the Intrepid's crew, and reported for duty when the Alliance started recruiting, heading to Porto Santo and probably the Karuzara asteroid for further training in starship operations before being assigned to the Astra.

I think the most obvious thing about the Alliance is that it's primarily a military organization being led principally by Admiral Dumar. It doesn't have a central, elected civilian political leadership at the moment, at least not yet. We'll probably see something develop along those lines or we may not. The Jung threat is the only thing pretty much keeping the members of the Alliance (at least in the Sol sector) working together. Once that threat recedes because of the 20LY buffer zone and the Alliance slowing or temporarily suspend its offensive operations tempo to regroup, we could very well see cracks begin to appear in the Alliance.

Do you see the Astra having flight operations as the Aurora. In which case after looking up what the CV in CV-01

Cruiser
Armoured: CA
Large: CB
Battle: CC
Light: CL
Aviation: CV

Destroyer
Ship: DD
Escort: DE

I see why the Astra is a Light Cruiser making the ship designation CL-01?

@palmer I do see the Astra being able to conduct flight operations, though on a smaller scale than the Aurora. She can carry a normal compliment of around thirty Super Eagles, a flight of four Super Falcons, and an assortment of personnel and combat jump shuttles. But, her flight deck is arranged differently than the Aurora. The Astra launches her compliment of fighters from broadside tubes accessed from the hangar deck below the flight deck, allowing her to launch up to twenty fighters simultaneously (ten starboard and ten port) in combat situations. Recovery of these fighters occurs through the flight deck above and use of the transfer airlock elevators on either side of the flight deck to return the fighters to the hangar deck below. Meanwhile, the fighter alleys that are on either side of the flight deck aboard the Aurora have been mostly converted into additional space to park shuttles to the sides in separate bays to maximize the amount of space in the flight deck for the launch of shuttles and the recovery of shuttles and fighters. The rear end of the space previously used by the fighter alleys retains its function as a maintenance area, but it is enlarged to accommodate multiple shuttles instead of fighters. The forward end of the fighter alleys has been converted (as it was on the Aurora) into a bay for fixed plasma cannons (two on each side) that fire at target's ahead of the ship.

CL-01 would be an appropriate designation for the Astra, but since she has an aviation component to her design CVL-01 may be an even more appropriate designation.

30 Super Eagles in the ship 1/3 the size of the Aurora would fit, but with the added Super Falcons and the added Combat shuttles, it would be a tight fit. I would put the number lower, 16 (2 flights of 8) would make since to me because space is at a premium, and the numbers would match some of the fighter groupings we have seen to date (also we don't have that many fighters yet). An argument could be made for 24 Fighter, but then you couldn't free up room for pressurized airlocks for loading troops into and out of combat jumpers, in the former fighter alleys while running an open deck.

I also think that being able to quickly launch 2/3's of your fighter complement instantly is overkill. Those slingshots will take up a lot of room and as mentioned above, space is at a premium. I would recommend that if you are going for fast launching fighters then 2x2 launch tubes to be deployed forward as in the original Explorers or in a diagonal displacement to better mount forward weapons on the ship. This would also allow the fighters to retain the forward motion of the Astra itself, allowing for the quick launch of a full flight of 8 that can merge quickly into a full fighter wing. I also see additional airlocks for launching the combat shuttles backwards just off to the side of the flight deck. No reason to block up possible weapon space forwards, and if combat shuttles come in through the flight deck cycle into the "combat jumper alleys" and exit through the new rear airlocks, I can see that working just fine.

It might also be a good time to mention that the Aurora and Celestia are adding side firing heavy weaponry because they would be able to bring more firepower to bare more quickly in combat jumps. Having ten fighter alleys in prime restate like that will be a mistake. I also see a flaw in the idea of launching fighters directly into the firing line of your ship / into the target ship / target ships firing line on your ship. I imagine having slightly pivoting plasma cannons in individual recesses with independant mini zped power sources, and secondary bubble shielding over the recess, when opened, for protection in the case of a spot failure in the main shields.

I like CVL-01 and CL-01 but at the same time CV-03 could work. Just look at the differences in BV-01 and BV-03.
(Also considering that every warship type we have seen except the Frigates have launched Fighters I see the "V" as being a bit redundant)

I thing a standard cruiser is "CC", Light "CL", Heavy/ Armored "CH". Also I would have said Battle Cruisers would be "BC", as they are a different animal altogether. More armor then standard Cruisers, more guns then Heavy cruisers and as fast as Light cruisers. I like "CV" for pure carriers. Strangely I see the Explorer class as a multi-tasker, dropping fighters and staying in the fight.